2011 - new?

The year doesnt feel that new,

repackaged and revitalised but not new..

The year does feel different but not new,

The year ahead will have possibilities, probabilities and possibly some promises.

But the possibilities which seldom into realities

the probabilities which need more definition,

but the poor promises will mostly likely be broken.

I don't know if this is pessimism or just some wrong conviction on my part,

i know its not disillusioning, because I personally liked 2010,

the ups and downs and the beyond thought,

the malice, the intents and the beliefs,

This year has made me question myself,

look past some of what i thought was my core beliefs,

and finally accept and change myself in many ways.

But most importantly, it made me realise who i was and love that about me.

and thats why i quite like this year..

But the ups have been really up and the downs really down..

a year of extremes, a year of finalities and a year of fun, laughter and heartbreak.

The next year as of now.. doesnt promise anything different..

but yes.. its maybe the year of moderation,

a year where things happen at a pace which is comfortable..

where the mind isnt overthinking..

maybe that's the difference..

Maybe this year promises that same as the last,

but at a pace which is both easy and comfortable.

Since 12 midnight.. everything has been in moderation and comfortable,

maybe thats whats this year holds for me.

The extremist in me, might learn moderation.

might learn how to be easy and comfortable,

instead of this or that..

I look forward to the year,

because it seems to have the possibilities of being a spectacular year, and the chances of it being a reality,

Probabilities of love, stress and distress all of which will have more definition,

and finally a year of promises that are kept

All feels like a year where the world and life is more than just mere reality and drudge,

but holds the towards which this moth is drawn to..

Wanderings of a Thoughtless Mind: Chapter 18

Darkness envelopes all emotions,

Distance is sought but never found,

the envelope closes tighter and tighter,

until all the air is sucked out.

Then there is a crack,

light and stale air seeps through,

for a moment, the emotion emerges,

and finds faith in life is renewed.

Disconnecting thoughts rule the mind,

a childrens fable turns dark,

i realise that there is no light,

just an illusion of the tunnel of thought.

but somewhere the emotions have changed,

come back with a vigour renewed,

stronger, faster and deeper yet,

nothing stops it but the control is true.

Stronger the feeling,

Lesser time it takes,

to disconnect from all thought,

and all emotions at stake.

right now I am happy,

being there emotionless,

but i know i would be happier,

if those emotions had your caress.

It takes time,

and these things are slow,

Patience is relative to time,

time till you know for sure.

Once upon a time - D

Once upon a time.. People were sad.

People were constantly depressed.

The depression was contagious.

Everyone was only talking about how the world was unhappy.

The air became morose and the days grew darker.

Everyone was constantly in everyone else's houses.

Eating, drinking, smoking to their misery.

They sang songs to express their sadness.

And everyone understood and empathized.

The sun wasnt ready to shine.

The world seemed to stop to spinning.

It all stopped.

As the sun rose the next day.

Everyone was dead.

And there was no more sadness.

Once upon a time - C

Once upon a time.. There was a girl.

She was pretty and always smiled.

She was nice and always listened to what everyone had to say.

Never gave any unwarranted advice.

Actually never gave any advice.

She loved flowers and always had it around her.

She was never the butt of any jokes.

But she was spoken about very fondly.

her smile, her face, her hair were never out of place.

It was like she was a photograph.

One day her mother found that the girl's flowers were wilting.

So she took the garland of the girl's photograph on the wall and replaced it with a new one.

Everyone knew she loved flowers.

She smiled back at her tearful mother.

Once upon a time - B

Once upon a time... There was no time..

There was no space and there was no crime.

It was a good place, a happy place.

It was beautiful, serene and nothing really happened.

Everything was left to be and left not to be.

There was choice. There was freedom.

At certain moments things stood still.

At others, it moved really fast.

One could sit back and observe.

One could breathe and the heart was allowed to beat.

The mind was set loose and imagination was boundless.

Then came creation and a God.

That just really messed things up.

Once upon a time - A

Once upon a time... there was Koolia.

He was very unclear about where his life was going and why it was going there.

He tried to think and tried to understand what all of it meant.

BUt eventually it wasn't meant to be.

He had to learn things the hard way.

The hard way was smelly, dirty and lots of effort.

He didnt really care about the way the world worked or about what other people thought.

But somehow he had to listen to everything that everyone said.

"eat this", "do that" and even "wear this" and "Dont touch that"

He wanted to break free.

He didnt want to potty train but he had to.

He was finally turning two.

Wanderings of a Thoughtless Mind: Chapter 17

Here i stand upon the edge of time,

Not knowing if i exist.

Grasping for meaning,

in a world i choose to desist.

Over head, vultures,

All lining up for me.

Over head, sky's blue,

I knew that's it.

I never felt this freedom,

I never felt distress,

I never knew the meaning,

of life as in my hands..

It Melts..

I finally fall,

down the cliff,

not knowing what's in store for me.

I let it all,

all slip away,

and i know what i am here for.

Over head, Sky's blue,

Lining up to let me go.

Over head, I see my soul,

floating over my body.

I never felt this freedom,

I never felt a pain,

I finally knew the meaning,

Meaning of true change.