Prosique - 3

What do i write, what do i write,

I think about this all the time.

At work, Its work, at the blog, its my thoughts..

But where does one begin and where does one go with it..

These thoughts are quite chaotic, one leading to the next and leading to the fifth, to the twentieth and then back to the third.

And thus leading to inconsequential conversation - From one strange sentence to the next beguiling one.

So then one decides, fuck the structuring and just write, let it flooooow.

Doesn't always work.

For venting it's great, feels great, may not sound great, but sure has the makings of a great letting go.

But for actual writing of the thoughts, down in words and rhyme, or even just paragraphs, it doesnt always work.

Thoughts for the day in no particular order,

- Arranged marriages amuse me.

- In a dossier of boys for prospective brides, is somewhere that i dont want to be. And i dont think i ever will.

- Im Dieting.. or so i tell the world.

- hahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahha

- 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8 (puff puff) 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8 (choke and die)

- There was once a girl that i knew not too long a ago...

- Random is as random does!

- What does that have to do with anything?

Makes no sense? To me neither.

But they are all very situational. So to a random reader they make no sense.. but when put into context.. Thats another thing.. They are deep and profound and full of learning..

Okay, honestly, They still dont make any sense.

Thats idle thinking and incoherent conversation for you...

Prosique - 2

In the last few days and weeks, i seem to have had a lot of conversations and discussions on relationships, friendships and the loss of the above.

The world is round and so seem to be the cycle of these dilemmas. More than just dilemmas, these are like illusions of trust and control that get out of hand. and by out of hand, i mean quite literally.

I control my fate and my relationships. Illusions.

I trust my mind and my relationships. Again an Illusion.

When this illusion blinds and castrates one of any independent thought and action, one has a dilemma.

I dont mean to be cynical, but somewhere life gets you to reevaluate all these discrepancies and you are left holding your heart in one hand and your head in the other, suddenly requestioning answers that you were sure were set in stone.

Little did one realise that the stone was made to be broken. And so are illusions.

Why, What the, How.. the mantras of the broken hearted.

How often do we find ourselves asking these questions and then reasking them as not to accept the answers we got in the first place. and finally reaching the same conclusions as we always did - What did i get myself into?

This then leads to the 3 most popular New Year/Post Relationship resolutions:

1. I will not get into a relationship, until i find the right person.

2. I will not get into a relationship unless i know the person well before i start boinking them.

3.(My favourite, and i would be rich if i had a dollar for everytime i hear this) Im not going to get into a relationship for the next year or two or never.

And the end result is almost always the same. Non-compliance to the resolutions.

Illusions, i tell you...Cant survive with them, but cant be happy without them.

(To be Continued...)

Prosique - 1

Heres my thought, like everything else that i write, I started writing with the attempt at prose..

But eventually i just settled for my comfort zone of rhyme and meter.

And then eventually, i started thinking in meter and that just messed up the entire ecology of my thought. Because then gradually, i started looking at things and finding rhymes, finding how to make it into 4 lines and then finally typing it.

It doesn't really make sense or maybe people can relate to it, i don't care. It started replacing my rationality with rhyme and my freedom with meter.

I wasnt thinking.. i was only reacting..

im done reacting and letting it take over my life.

Im done with random mindless rhymes,

im taking my freedom of thought back from me,

and now i will rhyme only when i write poetry and not prose.

This is me taking control of my thought and words.

This is me moving out of my comfort zone..

Wanderings of a Thoughtless Mind: Chapter 15.2

There is a cave, deep and dark,

I rest there sometimes, for the lack of thought,

I go quiet and enjoy it for a while,

The darkness is comforting, I do not know why.

The world moves fast and there a lot to think,

To do, to behave, to hold onto things,

There is a short time, when I can be me,

With you I feel that i can just be..

Stay quiet or just about talk,

Think when required and sometimes just feel,

the comfort of just being me, no strings attached,

you make me feel at home and of that cave im free..

Wanderings of a Thoughtless Mind: Chapter 15.1

Heres a thought..

Go for it or not..

what are the consequences..

Do i care enough?

Whats to be done..

never get a shot at the sun..

what are the motives..

Is it important enough?

I dont want to do it..

but I have and i lost..

there was no way out...

did i choose the right one?

I take responsibility..

of what happens next..

i choose the path of redemption..

For i have a lot to regret..

You and me..

What once was could almost never again be..

What is now is to be dealt with..

What will be is too far to see..

But one thing for sure that there is a different you and me.

You and me has changed..

But you and me is still real..

and you and me is still true..

Because finally you and me is what we feel..

Wanderings of a Thoughtless Mind: Chapter 14

There was a time when i felt complete..

there was a time when everything was right..

there was a time when hope dictated all thats true..

there was a time it felt right...

There was a time when i didnt worry..

there was a time when it made sense..

there was a time when control was lost..

there was a time when we could just be..

The time has passed

the time is now..

All time is true

and all time is lost..

If there was a time for sorrow..

if there was a time for loss..

if there was a time for forgiveness..

if there was a time for hope..

If there was a time for missing..

if there was a time to feel..

if there was a time to get over..

if there was a time to grieve..

The time has passed..

the time is now..

All that time is now behind you..

and all time is lost.