Wanderings of a Thoughtless Mind: Chapter 15.2

There is a cave, deep and dark,

I rest there sometimes, for the lack of thought,

I go quiet and enjoy it for a while,

The darkness is comforting, I do not know why.

The world moves fast and there a lot to think,

To do, to behave, to hold onto things,

There is a short time, when I can be me,

With you I feel that i can just be..

Stay quiet or just about talk,

Think when required and sometimes just feel,

the comfort of just being me, no strings attached,

you make me feel at home and of that cave im free..

Wanderings of a Thoughtless Mind: Chapter 15.1

Heres a thought..

Go for it or not..

what are the consequences..

Do i care enough?

Whats to be done..

never get a shot at the sun..

what are the motives..

Is it important enough?

I dont want to do it..

but I have and i lost..

there was no way out...

did i choose the right one?

I take responsibility..

of what happens next..

i choose the path of redemption..

For i have a lot to regret..

You and me..

What once was could almost never again be..

What is now is to be dealt with..

What will be is too far to see..

But one thing for sure that there is a different you and me.

You and me has changed..

But you and me is still real..

and you and me is still true..

Because finally you and me is what we feel..

Wanderings of a Thoughtless Mind: Chapter 14

There was a time when i felt complete..

there was a time when everything was right..

there was a time when hope dictated all thats true..

there was a time it felt right...

There was a time when i didnt worry..

there was a time when it made sense..

there was a time when control was lost..

there was a time when we could just be..

The time has passed

the time is now..

All time is true

and all time is lost..

If there was a time for sorrow..

if there was a time for loss..

if there was a time for forgiveness..

if there was a time for hope..

If there was a time for missing..

if there was a time to feel..

if there was a time to get over..

if there was a time to grieve..

The time has passed..

the time is now..

All that time is now behind you..

and all time is lost.

Guilt

Theres a sense..

A sense of guilt..

consuming and time intensive..

its drains you, thats the way its built..

for revenge and for love

for power and for damnation

the sense is simple to administer

everyone has their form of manifestation..

some cry, some are nervous,

some talk around it and some remain quiet..

but most arent good to hide it,

so eventually you stop to fight..

I feel it often..

for no good reasons sometimes,

I feel guilty at a drop of a hat..

I feel like sometimes it controls me out..

I feel like its gets too much..

I feel it get very large..

always it gets beyond me..

becoz at most times, im guilty as charged..

On symphony and esteem

Last night i heard music..

as enchanting as the sea..

the vastness and the subtleties

all merged into a dream..

It felt good at that moment,

The trance was just right,

weightless and relaxed..

For a moment i was without life..

notes moved from one to another,

the clarinets, the bass and the horns,

The violin sounds ached in my heart,

the flute created a world unknown..

Soft and melodious,

The symphony of sounds drifted me off..

Forgetting my insecurities,

Lulled into a false sense of self..

The tempo began to rise,

the drums suddenly thundered above

i awoke from my wonderland,

the the ground under me gave up hope..

I sat and continued to listen..

as the symphony reached its peak..

I was falling and the world crumbling,

as the music, to a grand ending, reached.

I sat there stunned, i sat there passive,

I could do nothing but sit and watch..

watching my thoughts, watching my ground

It had stopped falling through the hatch..

I slowly stand up.. finding my feet..

finding ground for me to stand on..

I was caught unawares getting out of my trance,

but now i find my way back to reality..

Wanderings of a Thoughtless Mind: Chapter 13

Nothing makes sense..

not life, not love, not you..

I feel myself dissappearing..

into a sea of magnitude..

The magnitude is far to great..

the feeling overpowering..

is it a sign im not willing to accept..

is it something im just trying..

I love this feeling..

loss of all that made sense..

i like it that its greater than me..

and im not the center of the lens..

Picture after picture..

role after role..

no definition, no expectations..

a future of which i have no know..

no knowledge, no wisdom..

just feeling the way i do..

i release and let go of my control..

and let it flow from me to you...