Rambles: Frustration

The frustration is getting to me..

im just tired i think..

but then do i think..

im mechanical..

im just a slave fucking machine..

no original thoughts..

no patterns seeming evident to me..

not naturals..

i have to study things.. need to understand..

i dont need to do that..

im not myself anymore..

im someone else..

i see myself in the mirror..

but i dont see myself in my head..

i dont recognise me anymore...

and i dont like me anymore..

I need to get back..

need to justify and lie to myself again..

thats the reason to get back..

I seek me..

i seek me..

i seek me..

im talking greek to me..

I dont understand..

i really dont..

its new.. its exciting..

who the fuck am i kidding..

Its just plain simple fucking and highly frustrating............